Hallelujah
by MistressMaryD
Summary: Jill Valentine's thoughts and feelings during RE5. Songfic/angst/slight sexual content. JillXWesker JillXChris


A/N: No, I don't own the song or the Resident Evil characters….people should know this. I hope you all enjoy this; it's my first attempt at writing in third person in quite a few years. Let me know what you think. No flames though, or I'll sic Wesker and his Uroburos on you. ^_^

Oh, the lyrics are a bit out of order for a reason.

-Mistress Mary D.

"Hallelujah"

"_There was a time you let me know what's real and going on below,"_

Jill Valentine never imagined she'd be in this situation.

She found herself in the custody of her former captain, the man who betrayed them all; none other than Albert Wesker.

When she really thought about it; (that is, when she had enough lucidity to think for herself and remember) She didn't think she really stood a chance of escaping after what she'd done.

Though Jill couldn't bring herself to feel remorse for it; she saved Chris, her partner, her best friend. He'd been through hell and back with her and it was the least she could do for the man she loved.

That was all that kept her going sometimes. The knowledge that she'd been able to help him and the knowledge that he'd come to her aid; just like he had before.

Sometimes she hated herself for what she'd become during her absence from the 'real' world. Fortunately, she didn't have a lot of time to dwell on it before the P30 being forced in her system robbed her of all coherent thought and feeling.

She'd been aware of what she had done, but couldn't fight the hold the drug and Wesker held on her mind.

'_Is it bad that I actually welcome the dark now?'_ She wondered as she sat silently in her 'room' for lack of a better term; waiting for that wonderful darkness to overtake her angst-ridden mind.

Jill couldn't remember how long she'd been there. Suffering from memory loss and large patches of time seemed unaccounted for. She looked different now; blonde locks now fell a little past her shoulders and her complexion paled greatly.

"_Your faith was strong but you needed proof,"_

'_Does it even matter anymore? Everything we fought for, every bit of good we'd done? It'll all be washed down the drain by the monster we all used to place out trust in.'_ She thought, bitterly angry at all that had transpired. All the people that suffered at his hands. She herself being one of them; then and now.

She knew humanity was approaching its end. _"Six billion cries of agony,"_ He'd said; _"Will birth a new balance."_ And it would all happen right in front of her. Forced evolution, enslavery, complete control of the world; the desires of a mad man were going to be brought to life before anyone even knew anything was wrong.

The door creaked as it slowly opened, causing her to twitch in surprise as she was ripped from her thoughts.

Piercing blue eyes moved over the black clad figure that entered. She'd lost her will to fight him long ago; knowing it was all in vain. Why suffer more than she had to? Especially if it wouldn't do a speck of good.

"_It's not somebody who's seen the light…"_

"Do you need something?" Jill asked, sounding as dark and hopeless as she felt. Orange eyes revealed themselves as his sunglasses were removed and he strode forward; as confident and composed as he'd always been.

She could still remember the same man, eleven years ago. Never ruffled anyone's feathers, never caused any problems. He had the strength and confidence one could only dream of. He was the picture of perfection in his job and did what he did better than anyone else could've.

He had fooled them all, right up to the end.

And they all fell for it. So many were dead because of their unswerving faith in their captain.

But it didn't matter anymore. That was the past and it was over and done with. That person was not who stood in front of her now.

"_It's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah."_

"How can I ever make you understand?" He asked her, crouching down to her level as she sat on her bed.

"Does it even matter if I understand or agree with you?" Jill asked quietly as she avoided his eyes.

A hand came up under her chin and pulled her head upright. Those evil orange eyes burned as they looked into her cool blues. Sometimes Jill wondered if he even saw her.

"Oh Jill," Wesker crooned. "Poor, naïve little Valentine. You'll warm up to everything soon enough. And then, you will understand."

Jill's eyes teared but she didn't speak. What good would it do?

"_It's not a cry you can hear at night,"_

Jill had long since become numb to it all; his hands, his lips, any movements that he made were forcefully pushed out of her mind or ignored.

Well, she liked to _think_ she had become numb.

"_And remember when I moved in you?_

_The holy dark was moving too, and every breath we drew was 'Hallelujah'."_

Every moan, every cry, every whimper; made her hate herself more and more. She told herself she did it for his benefit as well as her own, but she knew; she did it because she enjoyed what she felt from him.

It sickened her, but she found temporary solace in these secret visits he payed her. Wesker was responsible for every bad thing that had ever happened to her; but she couldn't bring herself to truly hate him.

And she wanted to believe that there was at least a little affection for her beneath his cold, conniving exterior.

And after these 'visits' the only bit of real affection she'd see from him was a gentle, lingering kiss on her lips before he'd covertly inject another dose of P30 and she'd fall into darkness.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jill didn't know what to think when she found herself in Chris's arms. Her mind was clearer than it had been in ages. But all she could think about was how happy she was just to see his face again.

She always knew he'd come and save her. They were partners, and they always would be.

They both looked into each other's eyes after Jill apologized for the damage she caused under Wesker's control.

Chris knew it wasn't her fault, and she didn't need to apologize for anything.

As far as Chris was concerned, he owed her an apology, and his life. But now wasn't the time.

Jill Valentine leaned up and kissed Chris Redfield passionately before telling him what he needed to know and sending him on his way to stop the end of the world.

To Jill, Chris was many things; her partner, her lover, her best friend, her rock, her confidant. But above all, Chris Redfield was a hero; _her_ hero.

And the world really needed a hero now.

"_Love is not a victory march, it's a cold and it's a broken-"_

"Hallelujah." Jill whispered, struggling to her feet as a thin African man in a B.S.A.A uniform entered the room and came to her aid.

'_Maybe it all still matters…'_


End file.
